Do you want to be the boss under the sheets?

Then you’ve arrived to the appropriate article. HuffPost in the United States contacted a number of experienced dominatrix specialists to get their best and most cheap recommendations for couples looking to add more fantasy to their sex lives. There’s no need to use the whip.

“Compose a Sex Wish List” “When I initially start working with couples, I recommend that they set a date where they just focus on establishing a list of sexual wishes. To make things easier, I recommend categorising them into three zones: green, yellow, and red. Everything you’ve always wanted to try would go in the green one; the things that are on the edge and that you’d have to talk about would go in the yellow one; and the red one (red is a terrific safe word, by the way) is equivalent to ‘nor of joke’.

When the couple understands their options, a serious discussion regarding consent and experimentation can begin. However, don’t be surprised if the red zone turns green one day!” – Hudsy Hawn, BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism) educator and couples counsellor.

Remove orgasms from the equation.

“Spend some quality time together without descending into orgasm. Flirt, get in tune, say dirty things, stimulate each other’s genitals, or avoid it entirely. Play with sexual desire and get each other horny, but no orgasms. Afterwards, Discuss what you liked and didn’t like; you could discover something new about yourself.

Our sex lives are mostly shaped by our desire to achieve climax. Much of BDSM is about what occurs when orgasms are no longer the single or primary purpose of sex. It entails experimenting with and exploring the mental and bodily limits of arousal. When you remove orgasm from your list of objectives, you force yourself to broaden your definition of a sexual connection and venture into unexplored ground.” – Professional dominatrix Mistress Iris

In and out of the bedroom, talk about sex

“One of the most crucial factors for me is communication. It promotes the development of trust and a sense of security, both of which are essential in any relationship. It’s highly sexy for me to be able to communicate about my wishes, needs, and limits, and it’s even more erotic to know about my partner’s desires, needs, and restrictions. Break the ice with your spouse in the bedroom by asking some fundamental inquiries or suggesting a sexual game of any kind.” – Professional dominatrix Mistress Velvet

Investigate your fantasies.

“Your bond is strengthened when you can engage in your fantasies in a conscious and consenting way. It’s vital not to make your partner feel bad about having a fantasy, especially if it’s one you don’t want to participate in. It’s not always necessary to act on fantasies; sometimes it’s enough to talk about them. If you decide to follow through on a fantasy, be very clear about what makes you tick, how you want it to play out, and what you might need afterwards. If it doesn’t turn out the way you meant it to, try the next option. It’s a topic to discuss as a couple, but in general, sharing your dreams with your partner leads to heated exchanges that strengthen your bond. To begin the talk, I always propose that novices fill out this document [in English].” – Mistress Justine Cross, dominatrix, dungeon owner, and BDSM consultant

Take pleasure in both dominant and submissive roles.

You may appear to be passive, yet you prefer to react forcefully. You may enjoy being moody (dominate and be submissive). Consider what gets you excited and don’t get too caught up in what you think you should do to fit into the role.” -Iris, Mistress

Consider using a vibrator with a remote control.

“Add some kinkiness to your next date or visit to your favourite pub with sex toys. From across the room or across the table, a remote control vibrator put on your private bits can be a terrific way to get your partner’s attention. Enjoy seeing your companion order martinis while keeping an eye on the vibes you’re controlling from afar. It can be humiliating and difficult, but it’s hilarious to see “Mistress Georgia Payne, professional dominatrix and co-author of “How to Be a Dominant Diva”

“Experience sex with your eyes” “Find the strength to keep your gaze fixed on you. Nothing exposes you like gazing and waiting to see what will happen next. You’ll be astonished at how close your relationship grows simply by allowing yourself to be vulnerable. By holding your partner, you can exert control over her. When you stare into each other’s eyes and do it slowly, well, and carefully, it’s far more successful. The better the shared experience will be, the more careful and attentive you are to each other. Spend some time getting to know your body through touch and eye contact. Sometimes the finest sex isn’t even involving the genital organs. Strike it with both your eyes and your intellect! Hudsy Here, Hudsy Here, Hudsy Here, Huds

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