Although the acronym BDSM (Bondage-Discipline-Domination-Submission-SadoMasochism) is sometimes misunderstood, the behaviours that fall under its umbrella (Bondage-Discipline-Domination-Submission-SadoMasochism) have long been a part of the human sexual experience. Furthermore, as the area of sexology has pointed out, it can help to improve relationships because they are activities that are based on open and

honest conversation between the participating adults, as well as the establishment of well-defined limits that can never be exceeded. In reality, according to Valèrie Tasso, a sexologist, writer, and LELO ambassador, these erotic practises, which she describes as “various ways of living and comprehending sexuality,” have one thing in common: express permission between the persons involved. All of them, however, have long been taboo (indeed, they were once referred to as’erotic minorities’), but the influence of literary phenomena such as the ’50 Shades of Gray’ trilogy (both criticised and praised) has helped to raise awareness of BDSM and to help people understand, as Tasso points out, that sexuality is not ‘one,’ but rather diverse, with no better or worse s. “This is significant because it permits certain biases about these erotics to be dispelled,” adds the sexologist.

To grasp some of these notions, the expert approaches each of the erotic so that, as she says, bondage “is the technique of tying or immobilising someone and generally having a large number of followers, always with their prior consent.” Meanwhile, the domination is to “subdue and serve or be served by the submissive.” As a result, the term “submission” alludes to “obedience to Him or dominance over Him.” “.. Sadism, masochism, and discipline, on the other hand, are more difficult to define with a generic term because they can vary widely depending on who performs them.

What is the best way to get started with BDSM?

Valèrie Tasso argues that one of the greatest ways to learn more about BDSM is to contact a sexologist, because this way it will be possible to examine with each person the components that contribute to an interest in BDSM, such as motivations, wants, and, most importantly, the scale of values of each one… The sexologist advises care when it comes to information discovered on the internet, in forums, or in groups of persons who profess to practise BDSM. In this way, he demonstrates that common sense will always be a valuable partner in sounding the alarm if certain advise is neither sensible or trustworthy. «And if we have any worries while diving into some of the more specialist pages, I advise you not to proceed any farther. Above all, I repeat: good sense. It is because of something that something squeaks at us “He is adamant.

The expert guarantees that in her guide ‘Kinky sex and BDSM for laymen,’ she not only talks about her own experiences, but also addresses some of the fundamental issues of this practise without passing moral judgement and providing bibliographic references and online platforms that provide reliable information about these erotic practises.

In BDSM, honesty and sincerity are essential.

The sexologist advises that you approach the talk with the couple about the sexual activities or practises that you wish to try from a place of sincerity. We are often terrified of how our spouse may react, and this is precisely what causes us to be less than completely honest. “We’re hesitant to share our desires and dreams with you, but it all boils down to this: we’re terrified of being judged,” Tasso explains. However, as he emphasises, communication is crucial in all aspects of a couple’s life, including sex. “When these concerns come up, I always pose the same question: what do I do with the person I live my life with if I can’t be honest with her about our sexuality?”

Of course, once you’ve agreed on which erotic practises you’d want to attempt, it’s critical to define boundaries, because, as Valèrie Tasso points out, it’s crucial to know how far each person is ready to go: «Perhaps you want to try a certain I play, but your partner doesn’t. You must show respect for it. As a result, it’s fun to develop that list together and come to an agreement on the things you’re both comfortable with and want to attempt, as well as the things you don’t want to try. Limiting some practises is exactly that: limiting them and not overdoing them. Never”.

Set aside your biases.

It is difficult for a person to instantly shed stereotypes when they are surrounded by preconceptions and beliefs. In fact, as the expert points out, BDSM is still shrouded in a slew of taboos. It’s often because some people wrongly refer to it as “sadomasochism,” a name that conjures up images of spanking, harshness, and so on. However, as the sexologist clarifies, BDSM is an exciting world that has nothing to do with violence interpreted as an act in which the goal is to inflict pain when it is properly practised, following common sense, and setting limits ahead of time.

“To those who are offended by this erotica, I would respond that, contrary to popular belief, BDSM has the potential to become the most democratic erotica ever created. Because everything is voluntary, no one does anything they don’t want to. It’s the enactment of imaginations. The traditional model of sexuality that they have sold us is not always the same. It is neither erotic nor BDSM if it is not consenting. It’s just plain wrongdoing. So lucid, “He comes to a conclusion.

Beware of expectations

In the era of immediacy, the sexologist remembers that sex has its times and that the number one enemy of BDSM is impatience. «These practices require time, reaching agreements, setting limits, a safe word, starting with simple practices… On many occasions, the first experiences can be somewhat frustrating, precisely because these previous steps have not been carried out. In others, it is simply not possible to connect with the other person, ”he clarifies. That is why the expert advises taking time to find the right people to carry out these practices and to discard the things that are not enjoyed, because if you want to have an incredible experience the first time, these people may end up frustrated and loathing those games. «The most exciting thing about these erotic shows is that they are

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *